In case you were unaware, RA stands for Rotten Arthritis.
(Not to be confused with Rheumatoid Arthritis.)
I'm not sure where to start with this thing. All I know is that writing helps me process my thoughts and emotions, and that I have a lot of people asking what I'm going through and it's not easy to explain. My hopes with this blog is to do just that and to also raise some awareness on this evil disease, that is commonly downplayed.
Had someone mentioned to me that they had "arthritis" a few months ago, I have to honestly say that I would have shrugged it off. My thoughts would have been something like "oh man that stinks that your joints ache, getting old sucks." Ha! Boy was I in the dark.
Let me preface this by saying- starting a blog on this is not a way for me to dramatize this stupid disease (I'm going to call it that because it deserves that adjective.) If you know me you know that I don't like attention. I'm not asking for any. I'm going to push through this stupid disease and live my life the way I want to and I'll be damned if it defines me and slows me down. I don't have time for that. My 3 year old daughter gives me enough drama every day to last a lifetime, and I can't afford to slow down or "take it easy." (Take it easy.... fellow moms do we even know what that means??) Also- since people can be inconsiderate and always have an "it could be worse," invalidating, anti-sob story- yes, I realize that it could be worse. In fact, I have a close friend with stage 3 breast cancer right now that is a constant reminder that things could absolutely be worse. I do not have a terminal illness, I get that. But I hate the saying "it could be worse." It not only invalidates the recipient's feelings, but it's insensitive and just plain rude. I can assure you that with what I've seen in the nursing field, I am well aware that things could be worse. That doesn't make me any happier to have arthritis. I'm not jumping rainbows and floating on sparkly clouds with unicorns just because it could be worse. End rant.
Anyway, how this happened- a few months ago my knee randomly and suddenly started to hurt and filled with fluid. I have had 2 knee surgeries in the last 10 years so I figured I tore something yet again. I went to the joint doctor, had an MRI and X-rays done, both showing no problem. The joint doctor referred me to a rheumatologist. (What that was I had no idea. But OK, I'll go) He asked me the weirdest questions and looked really worried the entire time. Did my back hurt in the morning when I get up (yes), had I ever had gastrointestinal issues (yes, I was diagnosed with IBS when I was 17 after having my appendix removed), do I have blurry vision (yes...), have I ever had other joint issues (yes I have TMJ and pain in my fingers on occasion....) His eyes got wider. He said he would test me for Lymes disease and Rheumatoid Arthritis. "I'm 25" I thought. "I'm healthy. All of this stuff is coincidence." But alas, the fluid test came up positive for RA. After I got off the phone with the nurse I waited 2 hours to Google the mess out of RA. I figured, as Google always does, it would tell me I am going to die tomorrow after I research why I have a sniffle. So I tried to avoid it. Who was I kidding? I knew nothing about some disease I've been diagnosed with. I had to get a better idea as to whether I should freak out or not worry about it. As I feared, it came up with horrific pictures of crippled elderly hands and told me right off the bat that no matter how severe the case, my life expectancy was to be shortened by 5-15 years. What the what? And here's where the sobbing began.
All that to say, this disease is a B word. Though it's not life threatening, it's certainly a lifestyle change and it just plain sucks. Every 6-9 days my knee fills with fluid, my fingers ache, and I'm immobile. Therefore every 6-9 days I am forced to go to the dr, spend $40 and get my knee drained. People have asked if it hurts. Does inserting a needle into your joint and it scraping the bone along the way sound painful? There ya go. But with 2 kids under 4 years old to take care of and a life that can't slow down, immobility is not an option. I am currently taking 8 steroid pills a day and they are yet to prove successful. Some days I grab RA by the horns and say "So what? I got this." Other days, RA drags me by my hair and I'm kicking and screaming and crying inside because I am so exhausted of it after only 3 months into it.
Regardless, I am writing this blog in hopes that it will help someone else and raise awareness on this RA junk. I'll be updating the blog as far as where I'm at physically and emotionally at what I'm finding helps me in my specific case. My dad recently said "Telling Katy to slow down is like telling a fish not to swim" and I intend to keep it that way. I've heard that this disease is as bad as you make it. And I plan on making it manageable. If I can figure out what works for me I'll be golden.
